Old Firm play is surefire winner with audiences

Airdrie & Coatbridge Advertiser May 20 2009 by Ian Bunting, 

WHEN I clapped eyes on the toilet seat on stage I knew the audience was in for a funny ride during the 'I'm No a Billy He's a Tim' show and we weren't disappointed.

A packed Airdrie Arts Centre theatre were treated to, Coatbridge's own, Des Dillon's tale about Celtic fan Tim (played by Colin Little) and Rangers fan Billy (Scott Kyle) spending the afternoon of an Old Firm game in a jail cell together.

The two leads are joined by James Miller, playing prison guard Harry, in a superb three man cast. All of the proceedings also played out on a small stage with minimum props so all three men deserve immense credit for holding attention throughout.

The authenticity of the two fans was spot on, with both representing each side of the footballing and religious side of the Old Firm extremely well, from their strips to their singing.

Kyle goes for a louder, in your face style as Billy and he would have no problem being heard in a crowd. He is very funny, though, and shows some impressive acting chops during some late emotional moments.

Little plays off him very well as Tim. He huffs and mutters his way through the early stages, before Billy's arrival inspires his frustration.

The two men share some superb scenes, including a funny pull-apart 'brawl' and the rather surreal sight of each one singing the other club's sectarian songs.

It must be said that the dialogue, whilst very realistic, is not for the faint-hearted. Every swear word imaginable is in there and some of the religious and footballing references may go over the heads of some.

Miller deserves great props for his performance. Prison guard Harry is the heart of the show and his emotional breakdowns really make you feel for him. His family tragedy also helps to show Billy and Tim, and the audience, that there's more important things in life than football.

The show takes in sectarianism, racism, religion, family splits and Donald Finlay impressions and all of this helps to educate as well as entertain. The two digs at Airdrie United's expense were, however, a little below the belt.

The ending is slightly predictable and both men exchanging strips felt a little unrealistic. This is a minor quibble, though, and Little and Kyle's collective rendition of the song 'Caledonia' got the foot tapping.

'I'm No a Billy He's a Tim' was a great night's entertainment and the high level of audience participation showed how into things the crowd were.

You don't have to be a football fan to enjoy it and everyone involved deserves great praise. Its funny, touching, debate-raising stuff with three actors on top form and, with a bit of luck, may help to defuse the tension on future Old Firm match days... or maybe not.

'I'm No a Billy He's a Tim' is showing at Hamilton's Town House Theatre on Saturday, June 13. Check it out if you can.